Here’s a look at some really lame achievements from destructoid.com

Whether you like to collect them (or buy them), Xbox 360 achievements have been the new e-peen for everyone to flash. It’s almost like you aren’t a real man unless you have an uber achievement score. Well, as most of you who own a 360 already know, some achievements are cooler than others. Some make you feel really special, while others seem to just happen as you do the most mundane things. Our pals over at G4 scrapped together a top 17 of really lame achievements that have since been a part of our gaming life. Take a look and see if you have anything to add to the list.

17. Dead Rising – Clothes Horse – 20 points. While most of Dead Rising’s difficult achievements require Frank to kill zombies en masse, kill zombies in humorous fashion, or save the often-idiotic survivors from imminent death, this achievement is earned by trying on all of the outfits in the mall. Sorry, but I prefer the fresh look of caked-on zombie blood to a new pair of khaki pantaloons.

16. X-Men: The Official Game – The Xavier Institute (Training Missions) – 0 points. If the developers of the game are going to give achievements for completing the simple training missions, then they might as well give you some points. Other wise, don’t bother. No one’s going to look at your list and go “Wow, Jonny beat the training level with Wolverine, he must be a badass.” Bonus suck points go the game for giving you the last 50 points for free after getting all 950 other achievement points.

15. Kameo: Elements of Power – The various time attack, expert level, and co-op achievements – 0 points. On the opposite end of the spectrum from the X-Men Game, Kameo gives achievements but no points for some of the harder challenges in the game. So in other words, what’s friggin’ the point?

14. NHL 2K7 – Quitter – 0 Points. Another 0 point achievement, although this one actually has some value. If you quit 10 online matches, you earn the Quiter achievement, and hopefully no one will ever play fake Hockey with you again.

13. The Outfit – Persistence Counts – 20 points, and Battlestations: Midway – Purple Heart – 10 points. Both of these brilliant achievements give you points for sucking at online play or dying frequently. Seriously, if I just bought one of these games and I’m getting my ass kicked online, I don’t need the whole world to know next time I join a game.

12. Gears of War – The COG tag achievements – 60 total points. Like most people, I love Gears of War. However, I haven’t liked searching for hidden packages since GTA 3, and even then it was more of a chore to get the good weapons in my hideout than anything else. The COG tags seem like nothing more than a throw-in for an otherwise great game, as they don’t really unlock anything other than some points.

11. Gears of War – Series of Tubes – 20 points. A number of online shooters have achievements like this one, which reward the player for hosting matches. The fact that the person hosting the game’s shotgun fires about a half of a second quicker than everyone else’s should be reward enough. They don’t need an achievement for having a bastard host advantage.

10. Star Trek Legacy – Pacifist of Makus and Guerilla in the Mist – 20 Points Each. Both of these achievements are for completing levels in the game and NOT killing anyone. I know the hardcore Star Trek fans will say being peaceful is part of the Star Trek universe or some B.S. like that, but I play video games to fantasize about killing zombies, monsters, aliens, psychopaths, Germans, terrorists, evil cops, Borg, Romulans, Klingons, and cuddly forest animals. They are not my friends!

9. Lord of The Rings: Battle For Middle Earth II – 705 total achievement points. Pretty much every game that has come out on the 360 has 1000 points to earn. So it’s baffling as to why the developers of the game didn’t give out the full total. Did someone forget how to add? Did they feel that the game is only 70.5% good? What gives? (Note: The Godfather game also pulled a similar stunt.)

8. Madden NFL ’07 – Import Draft Class – 10 points. This one is just a shady marketing ploy, as EA is asking the player to import a draft class from their college football game. But the only way to do this is to have also purchased a college football game. I know some people want both the NFL and the NCAA game, but for those of us that don’t, let us get all of the achievements without shelling out another $60.

7. Rainbow Six Vegas – True Identity – 30 points. Similar to the above Madden achievement, this one requires you to take a picture of yourself with the Xbox Live vision cam, and map it to your online avatar. This sucks if you a. don’t want to buy the vision cam, b. are a recognizable celebrity trying to stay anonymous, or c. are butt ugly.

6. Ghost Recon: Advanced Warfighter – Committed (Multiplayer) – 28 points. You get this achievement for playing GRAW for 8 hours straight. If you’re able to do this without taking a bathroom break, eating some pizza, or masturbating in a dark corner, then you’re moving from the realm of hardcore gamer to the realm of the Chinese kid who dropped dead during a marathon session of World of Warcraft.

5. Blitz: The League – Manvalanche – 15 points. I don’t even know what you need to do to get this one, but it sounds more like something Lindsey Lohan might do in her free time, not something I want on my list of achievements.

4. College Hoops 2K7 – Free Throws Are Easy – 25 points. You get this for making 90% of your free throws when shooting 100 or more in the free throw practice mode of this game. Look, if Shaq can’t find the time to learn how to make 50% of his free throws when he’s paid millions of dollars to do it professionally, then I don’t want to spend my time practicing my free throws in a video game when I’m only paid in shame.

3. NBA Live ’07 – Online With 1,000 People – 100 points. In a brilliant over-estimation of this game’s sales, popularity, and fun factor, EA made it so you can only get this achievement by being online at the same time as 999 other people. Unfortunately, NO ONE got this achievement until a couple of websites organized NBA Live meeting sessions at specific times.

2. Bomberman Act Zero – 1,000,000 Bombs and 1,000,000 Block Break – 50 points each. Bomberman for the 360 is pretty much regarded by the press as a horrible game. Therefore, I haven’t played it, and don’t really know anyone else that has. However, if we assume that the game doesn’t even have load times or breaks, and that you are able to plant 1 bomb per every second, uninterrupted and without ammo limits, it would still take you 11 days, 13 hours, 46 minutes, and 40 seconds of non-stop game play to get this achievement.

1. Final Fantasy XI – Reach Level 75 with each character class – 30 points each. Level 75 is the maximum level attainable in the Final Fantasy MMO. The achievements for this game are for reaching level 75 with each different character class in this game. Not just once, but with all 18 character classes. A recovered Final Fantasy MMO addict in the G4 offices estimated it took him around 700 hours of play time to get ONE character to level 62! Just think about that for a second. If you are one the two people in this world who have all of these achievements, just remember, there’s a beautiful world in real life out there for you to explore, and that Chocobos taste better when roasted with a little garlic and rosemary.

HALO 2 for Windows Vista will be launched on May 8th. This is according to tons of new reports that were released early this morning. The Games for Windows – Live service will also be launched at that time in the US.

Kotaku
Shacknews
1up
Planet XBOX 360
Team XBOX
Gamespot
USA Today

I’ve begun building my new gaming system. I’ve decided to hold out for the new ATi DX10 cards that were supposed to be out this month. While DX10 isn’t required for HALO 2 for Vista, I want one of those cards any way. The released date of those cards is expected to be sometime in April. Those cards were supposed to be released before Vista. Here’s hoping for an April release of the R600 cards and that they don’t get pushed back any further.

This is a transcription of Thomas Barth’s remix of Fat Man, a Marathon track. The remixed version is part of the new soundtrack for the AlephOne version of Marathon, named Fat Man2. It is almost impossible to play both hands together, but if you can just learn the right hand by itself it still sounds cool.

Also just ignore the thick repeat double barlines in the middle of the piece — they should be regular repeat double barlines to mark the different sections of the song, but PrintMusic won’t let me do that. I also remind you that it is in the “Blues” key of C, which is why there are a bunch of seemingly random accidentals.

Hope you enjoy it — have fun!

Transcription of “Ghosts of Reach” from the Halo 2 soundtrack.

It’s time for King of the Hill, where we talk about the top games available to Halo fans and how they compare to the king: Halo 2. This month’s top challenger is GRAW 2. If you’re like me, you’ve played GRAW 1 but you’re wondering what new features this has and whether it improved on some problems GRAW 1 had. Got a question about multiplayer, maps, clans, weapons, vehicle control, the UAV? Wondering about lag, the new medic class, and full-screen cross-com? Now’s your chance to ask! We’ll be bringing on some people that are into the game to talk about it in detail and get down to the nitty-gritty about what Halo fans would think of this game.

Dealine is Thursday Night

at about 5:30pm EST so get your questions/comments in quick! The earlier you get them in, the more likely they’ll be on the show. Just click submit news and tips on the right side and send it on in with your gamertag so we can give you credit.

If you haven’t escaped to Piñata Island yet, now is the time. The official Viva Piñata demo has arrived on Xbox LIVE® Marketplace and is waiting for you! Now is the chance to meet many of the more than 60 species of Piñata featured in Viva Piñata, the Xbox 360 game that everyone will enjoy. Head over to Xbox LIVE Marketplace today to meet these extraordinary creatures!

The playable demo will be available exclusively to Xbox LIVE Gold members for one week and then made available to all subscribers afterward. This demo will provide you with the opportunity to visit Piñata Island, where you’ll pick up a shovel and a watering can to transform a barren plot of land into a paradise to attract wild-roaming Piñata animals looking for a home. Enjoy a vibrant world where you create and customize your own environment to attract and care for wild Piñatas. As your reputation and garden grows, you’ll attract new, more exotic Piñatas, each with their own unique style and personality. You can even buy houses for your Piñatas!

Created by world-renowned video game developer Rare Ltd, Viva Piñata is packed with hundreds of personalization options: name your Piñatas, decide where to plant grass and flowers, hire helpers to help run your Piñata paradise and more. The colorful, fully customizable game takes you into a world with all kinds of possibilities. And no two games are ever the same. From hardcore gamers to families looking for a fun time together, Viva Piñata is an experience not to be missed.

The playable demo provides a taste of what’s available in the Xbox 360 game, which is available at stores for a suggested retail price of $49.00. This demo will be available in the U.S. only on Tuesday, March 13. Localized versions of this demo will follow soon after in Japan, France, Germany, Italy, Spain and the U.K.